Signs of Controlling Behavior! Are You The Victim?

Signs of Controlling Behavior

Some of the common signs of controlling behavior are:

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Their way or no way

This is the most common ideology of controlling nature. It can be you or someone you know. They are dominating and feel good as long as you follow their decisions. In a healthy debate, they won’t adapt and try to understand new viewpoints.

Attention Seeking

Controlling nature often comes from periods of stress, insecurities, and more. They try to bring their examples and their stories into every conversation; they won’t like it if someone else takes that place.

Critical Approach

You may know a few people who are always critical. Criticism is good but negative criticism is entirely toxic. For example, if you have achieved some goal, they will bring it down with some complaints or comments. 

Keeping Mental Scorecard

This is also a trait of controlling a person as they keep a mental scorecard of their actions. Therefore, you have to even the favors. Otherwise, they will always remind you.

Playing the Blame Game

The technique is called shifting the projection back to you. They will always find someone to blame for some mishap. They can’t accept and embrace their mistakes. So, blaming is a good option.

Highly Manipulative

Some controlling people can be excellent manipulators. They can bring down the story and customize it. You will be forced to believe that story. The manipulative trait is toxic, and you will feel this over time and that you’re being manipulated. 

The Reasons for Controlling Behavior

Serious controlling behavior results from a disorder. Often it’s noticed that the people suffering from controlling behavior are not secure enough. It can arise from past trauma too. 

As a somatic psychologist and author of Reclaiming Pleasure, Holly Richmond, Ph.D., tells mpg, controlling behavior often looks like insecure, anxious attachment. For example, “If you’re not with me, I can’t soothe myself, so I must know where you are every second.”

How to Deal With Controlling Behavior?

Some of the things you can practice or suggest to someone are:

• Acceptance: Yes, acceptance is the first key to managing controlling and dominant nature. Accept your flaws and stop micromanaging the things you can’t control.

• Boost Your Self Esteem: You may feel that you’re not loved and have certain securities. You must accept yourself as you are and seek the help of a friend or therapist. 

• Don’t Chase Perfection: Some people are controlling because they love perfection. You can practice it, but don’t force it on others. Live and let live!

Control panicking and Anxiety: You may always feel anxious as something wrong can happen. Well, practice breathing, yoga, and calm yourself down. Anxiety and panic disorders lead to controlling behavior.